Vince’s last name is ‘Offer.’ I’m not sure if he changed it to Offer when he started in infomercials or if it was just coincidence. I’d also belive it was a sign.

And aside from doing a masterful job selling ShamWow! and SlapChop, Vince also directed and starred in Undergroud Comedy Movie. If you’re not familiar with this gem, it has 2.8 stars on IMDB and is on the worst 100 movies list.

Litigation history with UCM:

On Sept. 23, 1998, Vince Offer filed a suit against 20th Century Fox and the co-directors of There’s Something About Mary, Bobby and Peter Farrelly. Offer
claimed that 14 scenes in Mary were lifted from his film. The Farrellys released this statement: “We’ve never heard of him, we’ve never heard of his movie, and it’s all a bunch of baloney.”
In 2000, Offer sued Anna Nicole Smith for $4 million. Offer claimed that Smith had agreed to be in his movie, but backed out in 1996 over fears that appearing in the movie would be detrimental to her career.
In 2004, Offer sent out a press release through prnews.com announcing his intention to sue the Church of Scientology. Previously, in 1997, while production was ongoing, the Church of Scientology allegedly began a large-scale smear campaign against Offer and his film (Offer was a Scientologist at the time). The director claimed the Scientologists’ “Celebrity Center” in Hollywood labeled him a “criminal” (based on the rules of Scientology) and threatened his Scientology friends in the movie business with “condemnation” punishment that could be lethal to their careers if they did not write malicious reports against Offer.

Source: Wiki

He’s now hawking the “Slap Chop,” which is some type of food chopper. It will, of course, revolutionize your life.

The commercial has some traditional vince-isms like “you know we can’t do this all day” and “beware of imitators,” but it also contains some new classics like “you’ll like my nuts” and some type of lyrical refrain involving “tacos, linguini, martini, bikini.”

This guy is infomercial gold.

See the long version of the commercial here.

Imagine my surprise when I saw ShamWow! on the shelf at Target today. I distinctly remember Vince telling me that ShamWow! is not available in stores.

Actually, upon review of the commercial, it’s the announcer at the end that makes the claim. So maybe Vince is unaware of his deception. But I always got the impression that Vince called the shots at ShamWow! HQ. I can’t imagine anything goes on without his knowledge or consent.

Either way my confidence is shattered. I wonder what else Vince lied to me about. Do I really spend $20 a month on Paper Towels? Is ShamWow! really made in Germany? Will it really last 10 years? Do Olympic divers really use ShamWow! Is any of it true? Sigh.

If you need me, I’ll be in the corner weeping softly, sopping the tears up with a paper towel.

KFC has two fried (like old-school McDonald’s type) apple turnovers for a buck. My turnover tasted better than anything that the AZ State Fair had to offer. I could have saved myself $70 and an awkward disagreement over the purchase of a ShamWow…

For the MN audience, I’m really struggling on how to describe this to you, and I don’t think I can really do it justice. I guess I’ll just have to say that it was obvious we weren’t in Falcon Heights. The area around the fairgrounds was a lot more like Lake Street or Midway (where the Mervyn’s used to be) but that’s not really an accurate comparison either. Definitely 800% more strip clubs than the Falcon Heights area.

The fairgrounds are really just one big parking lot (which was nice for the heat effect it created). There were no Pronto Pups to be found. I did have a corn dog, but it’s just not the same. The most obvious sign that we weren’t in the Midwest was that there was only one stand selling cheese curds, and there was no line at all.

They did have a building where they peddle infomercial products, and we did see the guy from Shamwow! I was very disappointed that it was not Vince. I was more disappointed that The Wife^® used reason to talk me out of purchasing 8 count ‘em 8 ShamWows for only $22 dollars. (He can’t do this all day, folks. Offer only available for the first 22 people.)

I had something called Indian Fry Bread, which I’d never had or even seen at the MN State Fair. It’s like a big, flat, fried circle of dough. I had mine with cinnamon and sugar on it. It was pretty good, but won’t be added to the permanent fair food must have list.

I paid a dollar to see what they claimed was the world’s smallest horse. “So small, not even a baby could ride it” the sign claimed. It was small, but I think a baby could ride it, if you could get a baby in the saddle. Probably even a toddler. And I’m not convinced it wasn’t some type of mule or donkey rather than an actual horse.

I think it’s safe to classify this as a “once-in-a-lifetime” experience, because I won’t be going back. Hopefully there will be a smaller local venue around here that will allow me to satisfy the occasional corn dog craving.

The title of a 1987 movie that starred Bill Cosby as a CIA agent who saves the world from an evil vegetarian. (Leonard Parts 1-5 were locked up in the interest of national security.)

Cosby wrote and produced the movie, but was so disappointed at how badly it turned out that he went on TV and urged people not to waste their time and money on seeing it.

Now that’s a bad movie.

Source: This wiki list of worst movies ever, which also includes the movie by Vince from ShamWow!

It’s like shammy, it’s like a towel, it’s like a sponge. Wine, Coffee, Cola, Pet Stains.

There is a weird quality to Vince from ShamWow! If you haven’t seen the spot- start here.

I can’t seem to decide if I like him or hate him. But I do have to stop myself from running to the phone with my credit card every time I see the commercial. (They can’t make this offer all day)

But it turns out that Vince has kind of a crazy past.

He released a movie in 1999 that was universally despised and sued Anna Nicole Smith after she allegedly backed out of the movie at the last minute. Though Ms. Smith had the sense to back out, the movie did star Joey Buttafuoco (yes, that Joey Buttafuoco), Ant (GSN Regular and Celebrity Fit Club Host), Michael Clark Duncan (huge black dude, super deep voice- was in Sin City), and Slash (yes, that Slash).

Vince himself was in the movie, playing the parts of Batman / Fetus Salesman / JJ Cool / Flirty Harry / Vincenzo Bulafungu. Sounds hilarious.

He also sued The Farrelly Brothers claiming they ripped off 14 scenes from There’s Something About Mary from him, and sued the Church of Scientology claiming they persecuted him after he quit the cult.

I’ll leave you with these words of wisdom: You’re going to spend $3,000 per month on paper towels anyway… this thing sells itself.

Source: imdb, wiki