KERRVILLE, TEXAS — A Kerrville woman has been arrested after calling 911 when her husband wouldn’t eat his dinner.

53-year-old Elsa Benson was charged with 911 abuse.

Kerrville Police say she has called 911 for non-emergency reasons 30 times in the past six months.

“The majority of our officers, if not all our officers, know this particular resident very well,” Kerrville Police Department spokesman Paul Gonzales said.

I think chilling is the best word to describe it.  The woman who is being attacked is very distraught about having to kill the intruder.  Note how the 911 operator helps her through it.  That’s the difference between Oklahoma, and say, Indiana, where they’d rather you just get killed.

Fear of Commitment boyfriends and missing cars…

I’ve been going through 911 Call blog-post withdrawal, thank goodness for Google News Search

Well, it turns out nothing.

MIAMI (AP) — The body of a shark was left lying in the middle of downtown Miami street after two men tried to sell it to several fish markets.

The men apparently carried the five or six-foot-long fish around on the city’s Metromover downtown train, prompting calls to police.

News footage Tuesday night showed the dead animal in the street with police officers and cruisers nearby. Two stations reported that a pair of men had tried to sell the animal to at least three fish markets for around $10.

But it does seem that it is appropriate to call 911 if there is a dead shark on the train.

This one’s a little odd, in that it doesn’t easily fall into the “can” or “can’t” category.

But it does converge two of my favorite memes: health care reform and 911 stories…

Ricky Alardo, a homeless alcoholic nicknamed Ricky Ricardo, swigs cheap vodka by day at his favorite corner in Washington Heights, then calls an ambulance to chauffeur him to the hospital for a free meal and a warm place to sleep, courtesy of taxpayers who fund his Medicaid benefits.

This guy calls for a ride 4 to 5 times a week.

Alardo Ricardo is not alone in his use of the system. Estimates are that there are “dozens” of these guys around NYC. (But of course, no one keeps records.)

The affable Ricky has rung up almost $4 Million in expenses over the last several years. All paid for by you and me. (Well, not so much me- how about “by the taxpayer.”)

And don’t look for things to change any time soon. The law takes the position that the homeless are entitled to this care. Ambulance drivers can’t refuse to transport them. ERs can’t refuse treatment.

But I’m sure it will all get better when we all have the same government health plan. Right?

Wow, that’s some powerful aviamisia.*

CAMBRIDGE, Minn. — A 21-year-old woman faces felony charges after allegedly prank-calling her 69-year-old grandmother 45 times in one day, threatening to kill her. The woman faces five felony counts including harassment. A criminal complaint said she told police she was “bored” and “wanted to have some fun.”

The woman and a 20-year-old friend, also facing charges, allegedly called the older woman on Feb. 5 and said “I’m gonna kill you,” “You’re going to die” and “I’m watching you.”

The cops answered the phone for Grandma a few times and heard the pranks with their own ears.

But don’t worry. It’s not like the girl wanted Grandma dead or anything…

The criminal complaint said the suspect told investigators she wanted to scare her grandmother but didn’t want her dead. She said she knew it was wrong but not illegal.

Oh. Well then I guess that makes it better.

*Aviamisia: A word I made up. Translates to Grandmother Hatred. From the Latin avia = grandmother, misia = hatred.

…and again it’s fast food related. Here are some old ones in case you missed them.

This time, a man and his 2 friends called 911 because they , “paid $10 and these guys gave me one burger and fries — that’s it, man.”

After being told that wasn’t an emergency, did it end? No.

They called back. They said they wanted a cop there, or they’d sue 911.

You are going to sue our office because you’re calling 911 and they didn’t give you the correct food?

By this time, they were making such a scene that others called 911 about them.

But it doesn’t end there. They decided to up the ante.

The caller said, “Oh my God, the lady at McDonalds has a gun pointed at my head. Send a cop right now.”

Mickelson [the dispatcher] asks, “Does she have a gun pointed at your head?”

“Yup. You’re going to send me a cop,” demands the caller.

“Yes, I’m going to send you a cop. What’s your name?” asks Mickelson.

“My name is Jeremy Martin. Send me a cop right now!” the caller said.

There was no gun but there was a Jeremy Martin.

Martin, 23, was arrested for improper use of 911.

On a related PSA note:

With Fourth of July fast approaching dispatchers warn everyone not to call 911 with noise complaints; police won’t respond to them.

Also, it’s 4th of July, so live with it. Or, as Jeff’s neighbor would put it, “grow up.”

Source: NBC, then the first link I could find

Kind of a reverso of the previous stories…

A Denver police officer has been suspended after allegedly brandishing his gun at a McDonald’s restaurant in Aurora after his order took too long to fill.

Uh, I don’t think you can do that…

The male clerk then said one of the officer’s flashed his police badge and pointed a pistol through the drive through window in a threatening manner, before driving off without paying.

The officer in question has been placed on administrative leave. He’s also looking at charges of felony menacing, which sounds pretty… well, menacing.

Alexandria, Louisiana

Alexandria Police charged Jose Morales, with second-degree battery for allegedly hitting a co-worker in the face with a hot sausage Sunday morning.

Police reported being called to the International House of Pancakes, at 10:30 a.m. where they found the victim with a large burn on the right side of her face that was starting to blister.

According to the police report, the victim said she was not immediately aware that she had been hit in the face by “a hot, greasy sausage.”

Another employee alleged that she saw Morales throw the sausage at the victim as she was standing on the other side of a high counter, according to the police report.

Source Here