President Obama has ordered a review of the US Nuclear Weapons arsenal, and predictably, wants to shrink it.

Because, you know, they are his. No really. They are. Remember, He Won.

The review is due to be completed by the end of this year, and European officials say the outcome is not yet clear. But one official said: “Obama is now driving this process. He is saying these are the president’s weapons, and he wants to look again at the doctrine and their role.”

We’ll just put that one in the “Imagine if George Bush had said it file.”

At the rate things are going, I’d be surprised if he didn’t just load up a boat of nukes and hand them over to Iran, you know, as a peace offering.

Unbelievable.

A Peoria couple is suing Walmart and the state after they were accused of sexual abuse for taking bathtime photos of their daughters, according to court papers.

“The Authorities” took their three daughters away for about a month. Their crime? Taking pictures of their little girls in the bathtub.

You know, like every parent ever since the invention of photography.

[T]here were seven to eight bath- and playtime photos of the girls that showed a “portion or outline or genitalia.”

Uh, you mean like the seven or eight pictures of me as a baby that my mom has in her photo albums?

The couple was never charged with a crime, and they eventually regained custody of their kids.

They are now suing the state, and Walmart, who handed over the pics to the state to begin with. Best of luck to them in their endeavors.

Now, I should mention that without seeing the pictures, it’s hard to say whether these things were borderline creepy, or as innocent as my baby book.

But for some reason I just have no trouble believing that a Walmart clerk and some state employees, not one of them with any common sense, were out of control in this instance.

Sure, it’s just a trade war, but damaging nonetheless.

Ed over at Hot Air notes that President Feckless is channeling his inner Herbert Hoover and ignoring the lessons of history by slapping tariffs on imports during a recession.

That was Hoover’s plan, and he led us into a little thing called The Great Depression. But I’m sure it will be better this time.

French President Nicolas Sarkozy came out and said what we all knew to be true anyway…

“It is a certainty to all of our secret services. Iran is working today on a nuclear [weapons] program,” Sarkozy told lawmakers from his UMP party on Tuesday, according to Press TV.

So, that’s good news.

I know I’m not the only person that this has happened to: You are about to go on vacation, when WHAM!, that cold that has been making its way around the office picks now to strike.

Yes, it sucks. But it’s just life.

Unless you are British. In that case, it’s an entitlement to get a new vacation.

Yep. An EU judge has ruled that if you are sick during your vacation, you get those vacation days back. Good news for the perennially unlucky, great news for those who like to scam the system, bad news for the already beleaguered British employers.

That’s what you need during a recession – more entitlements that lead to less productivity!

The ruling came from an EU judge, but the story is from a British newspaper, so it is unclear whether or not this applies to all of Europe, or just the Brits.

But he did raise $500,000 for team Obama.

Or so says noted right wing hacks NPR.

In Japan, Silicon Valley lawyer Roos — who had never been to the country prior to his appointment — is already settling in as ambassador. Levinthal says Roos was a bundler who brought in more than $500,000 for the Obama campaign.

Hey, Japan… isn’t that where one of our closest allies just kicked out the pro-U.S. party that had been in power for the last six decades? And aren’t they pretty involved with that whole North Korea thing?

(Incidentally, it’s also the place where the new first lady claims to have been abducted by aliens.)

No need for a seasoned diplomat. A fundraiser will do just fine.

Glad to see that NPR finally noticed what other news outlets noticed a few months ago: Raise money, get cushy government job as a reward. Hope and Change!!!

I’m sure I’m overreacting.

I mean, it’s not like Israel bombing Iran could go badly. Right?

Iran has until late September to respond to the latest international proposal aimed at stopping the Islamic Republic from developing a nuclear weapon. Under the proposal, Iran would suspend its uranium enrichment program in exchange for a U.N. Security Council commitment to forgo a fourth round of economic and diplomatic sanctions.

But if diplomacy fails, the world should be prepared for an Israeli attack on Iran’s suspected nuclear weapons facilities. As Adm. Michael Mullen, the chairman of the U.S. Joint Chiefs of Staff, recently acknowledged: “The window between a strike on Iran and their getting nuclear weapons is a pretty narrow window.”

At least we have a strong, tested, wise leader in the White House. Right?

Dude. This is the change we have been waiting for.

For years, congressional offices have played patriotic anthems as the background music during hold times.

Not any more. After we were startled by the hold music when we called a House office recently, sources on Capitol Hill informed us this week that the Democratic House leadership has made a sweeping decision that congressional offices now have the options of “smooth jazz” elevator music or no music at all.

The story goes on to explain that 1) No, the change does not save taxpayers any money, and 2) No, other members of congress were not informed that the music was going to change.

I’m glad that with everything else going on in the country and the world the house speaker could still find time to replace that Jingoistic John Philips Sousa march with an elevator music version of some Aaron Neville song.

If they can just get that TV Volume bill passed, I think this session of Congress will be a sweeping success.

Actually, the most surprising aspect of this story was that the music changed at the behest of the Speaker’s office, and not the new White House Hold Music Czar.

*and other things I hope that I never see on my future daughter’s Christmas wish list.

A duo of revolting developments that have made their way around the blag-o-sphere today:

1. A Stripper Inspired Tassle T-Shirt

2. A Pole Dancer Action Figure

Because Bratz were just a little too subtle.

This one’s almost ancient in web terms, but don’t forget about breast-feed-me-baby complete with halter top:

I won’t do the righteous indignation or snark as well as others out there, so I’ll leave it The Other McCain, who leads off with “God owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology” and goes downhill from there.

Michelle Malkin has been on this beat for a while now. She calls it the Girls Gone Wild culture. I personally blame Sex & The City, and before that, Friends.

Since his first post on the subject, Junior has had a few more run ins with scorpions. I believe he declared himself the Scorpion King the other day.

(Probably because he thinks he looks like “The Rock”, but I digress.)

Well, Junior, it could be worse. You could have THIS crawling around in your house.

That, my friends, is the world’s biggest bug, described as a “Giant Burrowing Cockroach.” And it is creepy indeed.