Alexandria, Louisiana

Alexandria Police charged Jose Morales, with second-degree battery for allegedly hitting a co-worker in the face with a hot sausage Sunday morning.

Police reported being called to the International House of Pancakes, at 10:30 a.m. where they found the victim with a large burn on the right side of her face that was starting to blister.

According to the police report, the victim said she was not immediately aware that she had been hit in the face by “a hot, greasy sausage.”

Another employee alleged that she saw Morales throw the sausage at the victim as she was standing on the other side of a high counter, according to the police report.

Source Here

First off, I DO NOT do bugs, at all. Especially ones that can kill me.

I’m still incredibly anxious, copy/paste from Wiki. Deal with it.

The Arizona bark scorpion is a small light brown scorpion common to the southwest United States.
The bark scorpion is the most venomous scorpion in North America, and its venom can cause severe pain (coupled with numbness and tingling) in adult humans, typically lasting between 24 to 72 hours.

Things I learned:

• They can run pretty fast
• Ikea furniture does not move well, nor quickly
• Check your shoes before you put them on. Scorpions can crawl inside and wait to sting you when you put them on
• I do not manage bug related stress well

Actual bug in my apartment.
Better Resolution example from Wiki

If I don’t make it to work tomorrow, someone please call 911.

Adding to our ever-expanding list of things you can’t call 911 for… missing orange juice.

Raibin Osman called 911 after not getting the carton of orange juice he ordered
from an Aloha, Ore., McDonald’s.

Apparently, they ordered, went home, “little brother is crying for his orange juice and stuff,” they drove back with the receipt, and they wouldn’t give him his orange juice. Osman says, “She was laughing at my brother-in-law because he ordered the food and he couldn’t speak English right and she’s not even showing up in the window now.”

The McDonalds manager also called 911, but was no more elegant with their call. “They got mad because they told me to give them more food… And I told them I can’t give any free food away. And they started telling me bad words and all that.”

Though I do have to laugh at the name of the article…, “Missing Juice Causes McRage.”

That nugget of info hidden in this appalling video clip about a cop who hung up on a girl—twice— because he didn’t approve of her “fowl mouth” language when she called 911.

Her dad was on the ground having a seizure, but this guy was more interested in lecturing her than in sending help.

I think it’s probably time for the sergeant to retire and go away quietly— it’s obvious he’s not fit to be serving and protecting any longer. But the moron girl has to share part of the blame for this incident. Maybe she could have put the temper on hold and focused on, you know, getting an ambulance.

Via Ace of Spades HQ

Sorry for the crappy video quality the news site doesn’t have this available for some reason, and this is the only copy I can find. Even sorrier for the idiotic video title.

When McDonald’s is out of McNuggets. Why the moron at the restaurant didn’t just give her the 99 cents back is beyond me.

To Recap reasons when it’s not OK to call 911:

• When McDonald’s is out of McNuggets
• When Burger King is out of Coke
• When there is traffic on a bridge

Other 911 Reminders:

• Don’t interfere with a 911 call – that’s a crime.
• Don’t bother trying to call 911 in New Mexico. New Mexico Sucks.
• 911 used to be 1119. In the EU it’s 112.

If you do, you’ll be charged with “abuse of 911 communications,” which is apparently a crime.

And no, the moron was not related to John McCain (this time).

Source: The Smoking Gun

I mean, I guess that’s logical, but I’d never heard that charge before.

Source: This Fox News article about a St. Cloud woman who tried to start her boyfriend on fire

I covered this briefly in my post titled “New Mexico is the Wisconsin of the South West,” but I haven’t quite exhausted the topic.

We had the unfortunate experience of driving through New Mexico both to and from MN. A few more reasons why New Mexico sucks:

• It’s a dump. Everything is broken down and crappy.
• Santa Fe is scary and gross. Don’t ever go there.
• They leave snow plows in the median of the interstate, despite the fact that it is snowing. Perhaps driving around would be a better use of the snow plow’s time.
• They have tons of signs that say “Cops Everywhere. DWI Super Blitz,” yet when you call 911 on a dangerous drunk truck driver, there are no cops within 50 miles so the truck can just keep running cars off the road.

Joe. He’s 6 years younger. He also has an older sister named Sandy.

Information on Joe is hard to come by.

He mostly tries to stay out of the spotlight, but failed miserably a few days ago when audio surfaced of him calling 911 to complain about traffic. That’s the first I ever heard that McCain had a brother.

Joe did attend the Naval Academy, but only made it a year. He served on a battleship during the Vietnam War. After the war he did a stint as a newspaper reporter, and then as a stage actor.

He tries not to speak publicly, lest he do damage to John’s campaign. Which is probably a good idea, since the only time his name comes up is when he says something stupid.

Source: The Boston Globe

At least, I think so. Surely the movie title “Dial 1119” makes me think so, but there’s a surprising lack of information on this world wide web of information about when the number was used, where, and for how long.

But I’m sticking with my assessment, since at least two other people I’ve never met and may or may not be real said so on the Internet. And why would they say that if it weren’t true?

What I do know is that the US and Canada are part of the minority of countries that use 9-1-1 vs. 9-9-9 or 1-1-2. (The EU uses 1-1-2)

However, Uruguay changed it’s emergency number from 9-9-9 to 9-1-1 after several people called the wrong number during an emergency. The prevalence of exported U.S. television and other media (think Sesame Street) referring to 9-1-1 was cited as a reason for the confusion.

It has been posited that Dick Cheney (Halliburton Halliburton Halliburton!) is responsible for both 1-1-1-9 and 9-1-1. (A little 9/11 truther joke for you)