The Wife® and I started watching Kings on NBC, which is a modern retelling of the story of King David . We’ve only seen the first episode so far. (The other two are still on the DVR.) It seems promising and pretty interesting, so it will probably be canceled. But either way I hear Macaulay Culkin joins the cast soon.

Anyway, it got me interested in the biblical story of King David, which I will break down to bullet points below.

  • David was the youngest of 8 kids. One day a prophet came to him and anointed him King, without the knowledge or consent of the current King (Saul).
  • David was a skilled musician, and worked for the King as a musician.
  • David killed a giant named Goliath with a sling. This made him a hero.
  • The King then hired David as a military commander, and David became friends with the King’s son Jonathon.
  • King Saul grew jealous of David and tried to kill him. Then he offered David his daughter as a wife in exchange for the foreskin of 100 Philistines.
  • Saul tried to get Jonathon to kill David, but Jonathon hid him instead. David and Saul go back and forth a few more times. David keeps coming back to Saul’s service, but Saul keeps trying to kill him.
  • Eventually Saul and Jonathon are killed by Philistines (upset about that whole foreskin thing, no doubt) and David becomes King David.
  • David eventually secures all of Israel through a handful of wars and sets up his kingdom with Jerusalem as the capitol.
  • Then David saw a beautiful woman from his rooftop, sent for her, and got her pregnant. But there was a small problem. She was married to Uriah the Hittite. And that guy is kind of a jerk.
  • As punishment from God and Natan the Prophet, David’s kid with the woman died. But she got pregnant again, this time with Solomon.
  • There was quite a bit of familial strife, with some brothers raping sisters, sons having sex with their father’s concubines, and other things like that.
  • Eventually David got old and had to retire. His oldest son claimed the throne, but David promised it to Solomon.
  • Solomon became King and eventually tried to saw a baby in half.

Sounds like there’s a lot for the new series to draw from.

Source: This Page, and, you know, the Bible.